Tips for Effective Change
By Geraldine Humphrey, Ph.D., L.C.C.

As humans, we naturally do things that are rewarding and avoid doing things that are not. One of the biggest problems people have when they try to change their behavior is that they fail to look at all the reasons why they are doing what they are doing. Try to identify what the benefit is of this behavior, and what would you lose if you stopped. Find out what's holding you back from change.

We often try to remove bad behaviors but fail to replace them with similarly effective behaviors. Think of it not as a "stop" but as a "to do" plan. For example, many people try to quit smoking either cold turkey or by sucking on hard candy. Instead, they gain weight and are miserable because they have only addressed the oral part of the problem. Most people smoke to relax, so unless you find another way to relax, quitting will be difficult.

Here are some more tips to help you make effective changes and stick to them:

• Make sure your goals reflect what you want to achieve. Examine how you are feeling and determine the underlying cause. Do not eliminate any behavior until you have found a reasonable replacement. Ask yourself what the benefit is to your current behavior pattern make sure your resolution provides the same benefits but in a healthier way.

• Anything you do to help yourself feel happier or healthier will lead to other changes. Start with something small that you know you will do. Don't expect to change you behavior all at once. Focus on one or two things, and when you have achieved those, move on to something else. Be specific.

• Even though we all want immediate gratification, be sure to set realistic goals that have a greater chance for success. For example, instead of deciding on how much weight you want to lose each week, commit yourself to an exercise program that starts with two days a week and builds from there. Be careful to know your limits. No one can go from being a couch potato to running a marathon in a week.

• It is okay to ask friends and family for help. Let them know what you are doing, and give them permission to stop you. It is also okay to reward yourself if you have achieved a goal. You deserve it!

• Ask yourself if you are willing to do what is necessary to change. Change is hard work. Are you really willing to work, or are you happier staying the way you are? Failure is inevitable if you aren't committed to your goal.
  

Dr. Gerri Humphrey is a counselor at North Canton Medical Foundation. She takes special interest in adult mental health issues, marriage and family, loss and grief, and illness therapy. To learn more or schedule an appointment, please call 330-433-1354.